2005-12-15

Christmas, Part One
Yesterday I was struck down by some sort of terrorist virus, people. It was silent and deadly and hit me with extreme precision right between the eyes. It got so bad that after four hours of watching me curl up on the washroom floor because the trips back and forth to the toilet were wearing me out, The Boy suggested the Emergency Room. Even in the throes of my sickness when I was dehydrated and praying for death, I knew you should only go to an Ontario ER if you were, in fact, going to be expiring within the hour. Nice healthcare system, huh? Reminds me a little of that Python sketch, you know the one.

In an effort not to fall behind with Holidailies, I'm going to split up the following meme (many thanks to Petrouchka) into two, since it's long and I am still pondering the last couple of questions.

So, enjoy! Constructive comments are always welcome, but I'm ill, so keep the recrimnations to yourselves, little ones. Many thanks.


Year of the first Christmas you can remember?
1971. I was running around like a whirling dervish, high on cheap sugar products and fell, bumpity-bumpity-bump down the kitchen stairs onto the concrete basement floor. You can still see the scar on my head where my hair didn�t grow back.

An early Christmas memory?
Spirograph and Etch-a-Sketch in the same year! Score!

Ever in a holiday play?
At church, every year.

Did you play a role? What was it?
Usually a shepherd, never an angel. Probably a precursor of things to come�

Favorite holiday ornament (Past and present):
When I was little I used to love putting up the cheesy, dime-store Santa heads that were a plastic core with some sort of velour covering; they always made me smile. Today, I have a Boyd�s Bears collectible ornament featuring one of the bears perched precariously atop a round ornament that I love. It doesn�t go on the tree; it has its own free-standing hook. Very special.

Decoration you dread seeing every year:
There are two houses three blocks down from us that hold this Wattage Competition each year. These wankers have no sense of style; their only thoughts are how many lights they can wedge in each square foot of yard/house/roof/garage and still be able to get in and out of their house during the month of December. The street clogs up with cars filled with sad people and their cameras and we have to alter our routes everywhere until January. God, I hate them.

Classic Christmas song you never get tired of:
"Feliz Navidad" by Jos� Feliciano.

Classic Christmas song you loathe:
"The Little Drummer Boy" as sung by David Bowie and Bing Crosby.

Modern Christmas song you never get tired of:
�The Fairytale of New York� by the Pogues.

Modern Christmas song you loathe:
There are probably many, but I�ll be damned if I can think of one right now.

Naughty or Nice?
Who, me? Nicely naughty. Isn�t that the way you like me?

If you have a Christmas tree, real or artificial?
Real. I like my trees like I like my cream. If you want to prop up a metal stand covered in shredded garbage bags, be my guest.

Any holiday traditions unique to your family you'd like to share?
Not unique, but my Mom�s side of the family goes mental over the Yankee Swap. I�m so glad I suggested it!

If you were an elf what would your elf name be?
Linw� Celebrindal.

Favorite Christmas Movie:
The Christmas Story of course. Brilliant.

Posted at 1:51 p.m.