When it comes to answering the above query, I am forced to refer you to my subconscious, more's the pity. Being lost in the nether regions of my cranium is really not something I would wish on anyone.

At first glance, I wanted to leap to the conclusion that I love because this person in front of me epitomizes an ideal my mind has spent an entire life creating. Eyes, mouth, voice, scent; these pysiological aspects speak more to lusty love than any concrete emotion I could name. And as much as I enjoy me some lust, at the same time I know it will eventually wither and die without the addition of some deeper feelings to shore up everything.

Still, boys smell nice.

Maslow felt belonging and love needs were the third rung of the heirarchy ladder, but I (being Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel compared to Maslow, of course) suspect the need to be loved and accepted ranks among the base needs of hunger and thirst. We are at our essence social beings and it's only those indiviuals who have acted upon all levels of the hierarchy and have reached the self-actualization phase who would ever posses the true ability to choose to voluntarily and successfully cut ones self off from society.

While this is a quasi-Valentine's Day entry I wanted to cover the sins of the flesh lovin' first, but would be remiss if I neglected to mention the most centering of love: friendship/family love. For anyone other than Ghandi, I think any love is selfish, but to varying degrees. The love one has for their parents inherently revolves around their security and is something not easily released. If your parents weren't the nurturing type, I think you give your love in the hopes of them finally choosing to take care of you. How I love my best friend Lisa is much the same kind of feel; she has always been the yin to my yang and I need her to stabilize my life and my emotions. She loves me so I love her and we build on that with each passing year. We share experiences, develop a rapport and create comfort levels we may be emotionally unable to achieve with others. Others who might not enter into a relationship in good faith. Lisa is and will always be my Comfy Blanket (I love the feeling of permanance I got as I typed that).

From there we ascend to the Soulmate. This would involve a person who has reached Comfy Blanket status but gets your engine revving and your every nerve a-tingling on top of it all. This is the person whom you yearn to give your entire being, but always with the expectation of a reward. This love urges us to work for what we trust we will eventually receive; love letters, poetry, fleeting touches and general wooing serve as initial release during the early stages. But always, always in the back of your mind is the literal, emotional and spiritual coming together of two souls and just exactly when is that going to happen??

So far none of the loves I've mentioned can be considered very pure; they all revolve around selfish design. And I think deep down, everyone knows they are (or should be) searching for something more. Even if they are 'addicted' to the touch of a loved one or can't get along without knowing they have a 'touchstone' to fall back on, someone who loves them enough to swoop in and fix things after they've screwed up for the umpteenth time, they know.

Anyone who stops to ponder this subject is hopefully open-minded enough to consider the fact that, as Maslow theorized, we are always trying to better ourselves as human beings so are we always, consciously or unconsciously, striving for a love that is Perfect, Total, Complete, Selfless, Undying, Unconditional and Eternal.

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I've had fun doing Februarium this year; thanks to Coleen for having such faith in my abilities. Loave you, girl.

Posted at 10:36 a.m.