The Click

Have you heard it? Maybe you heard it as you walked across the stage to collect your diploma from the Dean of your post-secondary institution. Possibly it pinged in your head at the same time the timer went off as you sat perched on the edge of the tub watching the stick turn blue. The click may even have made itself known later in life as you invented the doodad that cooks everything in the shape of a crescent or those wipes that can tan you without making you look like a streaky orange freak.

Have you ever wondered what that click was? No, my friend, you do not have TMJ or a small stone stuck in the tread of your sole. You have heard something many people yearn to hear, yet proves to be much like the Pimpernel: elusive.

You heard your life coming together.

You cannot force The Click. The Click will not be coerced, nor will it accept bribes of any sort. The Click has principles, you see; it comes along when it�s meant to and not a moment before. Of course, if you�ve just flung yourself from the nearest bridge five minutes earlier in a desperate attempt to end your suffering it will simply bow its head and give you two minutes� silence, then make its way to the next person on the list.

Local Click lore tells of people being temporarily blinded by the beauty of a life with purpose, of week-long feasts involving dancing girls and much ale. The touch of a person who has experienced The Click can heal polio, tinnitus and chronic halitosis. The aura of a person bestowed with the blessing of The Click is said to be a lovely burnt orange.

And that click is just the beginning. One click leads to another and another, much like one of those contests where public school students from Japan create elaborate collapsing domino �events�, complete with miniature rockets and twirling sparklers. Life as you knew it is over and the best is yet to come.

So listen carefully.

Posted at 1:44 p.m.