The mere phrase strikes fear into the hearts of Financial Aid Officers everywhere.

So, today it begins. For the next 40 working days, I will see between 50-60 students per day. I will have identification thrown at me, I will be threatened, I will have the small children of students sneeze on me, I will scarf down my lunch between appointments. I will rue the day I agreed to return to this place. Then I will remember the balance of my chequing account and suck it up.

It�s little wonder I drink.

On top of it all, I finally got my employee card today. You know, the all-important one that allows me access to the Registrar�s Office back door. So I can get to the lunch room. Tres important, non?

So, I leave the office and walk over to H Block to meet with Karen, Keeper of the Blank Employee Cards. She stands me in front of the wicked camera and has me smile like a Cheshire Cat for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, she says, �Damn, I�m going to have to do this manually.� I had broken the camera.

She went to great lengths to assure me that, no, I did not break the camera but I still don�t fully believe her. It�s also possible, under the Silver Lining category, that I could blame the broken camera on the picture of me it spit out. I look like I have enough face fat to make two faces. And now I�m stuck with it, much like the picture on my driver�s license that doesn�t expire until next year. Four years ago, I dragged my sick-as-a-dog self into the MTO to have my picture retaken. I looked like death, and boy howdy does that photograph well.

I have it face down on my desk and keep flipping it up every few minutes, hoping that a fresh perspective will allow me to see my face as others do. I just can�t stop the disgust and self-loathing from leeching through. Hey! I just realized it�s one more reason to get my ass on the elliptical machine. Or in the pool.

Plus, how else am I going to sweep John Mayer off his feet if I�m the size of a house? That's incentive!

Posted at 3:39 p.m.