Is that even possible? Am I just kidding myself? Am I in fact so unprepared that I will eventually come to the realization that the reams of lists I�ve carefully compiled since Labour Day shall never be completed before the end of the month? I have nightmares about being late, bringing the wrong stuff, wearing formal when it�s casual or finding out I haven�t been invited to some exciting �do� because I�m the biggest boor on the block. It�s little wonder I�m always the tiniest bit sleep deprived.

I blame Martha.

I don�t really, but it�s easier to default to that than look deep inside the cobwebby recesses of my cranium and actually figure it out. I�m much too busy with my many lists, you see.

People glare at me when I say I start holiday preparations the weekend after Labour Day, but I do. What do they want me to do, lie? Get organized, people! Don�t get mad, get with it! (Okay, kidding. No death threats, please.)

I have yet to physically put up decorations in my house, but that�s about it.

Cards are done, baking�s done, new go-to-meetin� clothes have been purchased for all the get-togethers from tomorrow on, thoughtful gifts are all lined up in the front room like little soldiers, ready to ship out and delight young and old alike. I�m ready.

Wait! Did you ever see that commercial where the lady is so smug in her readiness that she goes to answer the door with her skirt tucked up in her hose?

If you need me I�ll be out back, sacrificing a bottle of cheap wine to the karmic gods.

Posted at 3:59 p.m.