Anticipation
I checked on my stats this morning and was sort of surprised to see that I hadn't updated this site for 11 days. There's been some random whining and raving on the blog but nothing concrete. So now I'm feeling sorry for everyone who's been popping 'round lately to see what I'm about. All this stale stuff attracting fruit flies and hobos...it's not very thoughtful. Add to that the fact I totally gorged on crab and scallop linguine tonight and you have one guilt-ridden journaller here.

Unfortunately, there's not much to say lately. Unemployed, no social life, sparring with the friends I have and wasting energy wishing the ones I talk to every day were much, much closer. Hugging distance, really. 'Tis a sad tale, and I'm not anxious to spin that particular yarn around the campfire. And boy, I'll bet you'd be able to find something better to read in approximately 0.58 seconds, don't think I'm not aware of that.

I anticipate my job sitch will improve when I get back from JournalCon. The nice lady at the agency seems to think she can find me something that won't make me want to jab #2 pencils in my eyes or come home and kick my dog each night. Funny, I thought those types of jobs only existed in the movies. I'll keep you posted.

My pile of lists for JournalCon continues to grow with 69 hours until Go Time. The more I plan, the more the little voice inside me taunts me mercilessly, telling me I'm wasting my time. I'm going to forget something, you can bet on it; all I can do is hope it isn't something crucial.

I've been going all Lilliputian with my packing. Travel-sized this, wee Zipl@c bags of that, saving space in any way possible. I toted and hauled at least 20 extra pounds of crap to NYC last March and I'm not having that again. At least I'm scheduling things better this time....less tromping around, looking like a bloody tourist. More time to sit back with a Guinness and maybe a cigar. Don't judge, I'm on vacation, okay?

I'm trying to work through my anxiety about a) being ditched, b)meeting people I've been reading for absolute years and c)doing a reading on Sunday. It's all a lot to deal with. If you're me, that is. My only hope is that the wonderfulness of me will shine through on the first impression and my obsession with scary nervous babbling won't torpedo me instead. Note to all JournalCon attendees: If my mouth is running at Mach 3, give me time to wind down before making any snap judgements please. I really can be a lovely person.

So, packing and pity parties. My friend Patti told me last night while we enjoyed an August evening on her patio that once the first fabulous thing in my life appeared, the Domino Theory would kick in and all that was previously bad and harmful and difficult would begin its upswing. All I can say is, "Anytime, dude."

Posted at 6:02 p.m.