Yesterday, I looked at the holiday season as a gamut of obligations that has increasingly come to feel like more and more of a weight around my neck. I can't seem to rise to the occasion so I tell myself, hey, it's Christmastime, you should be happy and enjoy this time of fellowship and renewal and Santas outside every mall and grocery store, what the hell is wrong with you? The stress of not plugging in emotionally to The Season as it's marketed begets more stress and so on; buying into that day after day and week after week would only find me a weeping puddle in the corner by the underdecorated tree by the end of December.

The world creates many hardships, one barrier after another that must be overcome. And yes, I might actually be saying the pressure to perform at this time of year is a hardship. Yet, from approaching and possibly overcoming each hardship, a new part of each of us is formed; a part that will always be inside, a part that will change what makes me, me. It then becomes less about moving through the traditions of this year and more about trying to see today what sort of person I will be January 1, 2007 as a result.

In order to give my perceptions a shake, to add something or take something away or tweak an existing something, I need to swivel around and run at this from a different angle. To look up at the end of November and see The Season looming is to defeat yourself at the outset; no one can scale a mountain in one bound. Sorry, Superman is excepted. And I? I am no Superman, so I'm going to have to do this the hard way. One step at a time. One item on my list, one cup of flour, one cocktail party. Each task I perform has within it the power to make me stop and reflect on its worthiness, its value as a cog in the whole of the machine. I need to delight in each small thing in order to build myself a happy holiday season and I think traditions are a great place to start.

It used to be important to me that others share in my celebrations of certain traditions I've established over the years. Now, I see that attempting to impose my 'comfy blankie' rites on others like some sort of crazed cruise director was exactly what was making me crazy and draining all the fun out of those observances. From now, I shall eat my smoked oysters and watch the original Christmas Carol and contemplate each and every one of my beautiful ornaments as I spend some quality alone time with my Yuletide tree.

Try to take pleasure in at least one little thing this year, you might find it's not so little after all.

(In America, the Addis Brush Company created the first brush trees, using the same machinery which made their toilet brushes! I knew I didn't like fake trees for a reason, look at their pedigree...)

Posted at 10:00 a.m.