This truant AlphaBytes 2004 entry is brought to you by the letter I. In this case, I is for Insanity.

�Folks, the definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior over and over again, expecting different results.�

--Frank Hoyt Taylor, 28 Days

When I was younger, much younger, I used to believe in myself to the point where it occurred to me that I might have abilities others did not. The one example that leaps to mind is that summer when I thought I could breathe underwater. I also suspected that I had mind control over those with a lesser strength of personality and could bend them to my will. Now, I was probably only seven or eight at the time, but thinking back I can remember that feeling of being more, and it was exhilarating. It was like having the best secret under wraps and it was all mine. I didn�t tell anyone because I enjoyed that feeling, not because I was afraid everyone else would think I was a nutbar.

Looking back, I can�t remember the moment when that mindset ceased to be.

I do recall being around 15 and slipping in the question to my GP about mental illness being inherited. Knowing my propensity for hypochondria he smiled like a favorite uncle, took my hand and told me I was one of the more sane people he knew. I smiled back, still convinced there was something, some tiny part of me that was simply not right.

That feeling haunts me to this day. Someone told me not long ago the simple fact that I wonder if I�m ill would negate the illness, so I�ll just go with for the time being.

Posted at 8:43 a.m.