This AlphaBytes entry is brought to you by the letter H.

I�m still catching up, by the way. Duh.

Today, H is for Het up.

If you read that and thought, �She�s just making up words now in a vain attempt to convince us she�s not just going to bitch and whine through another entry�, you�d win the 17-cent kewpie doll and a temporary tattoo of Ashley Kate and Mary.

Just once in my life I would like to have people surrounding me who care enough about me to retain 1/8 of what comes out of my mouth. I say 1/8 because let�s face it, the rest is more than likely drivel but if you have the love for me you�ll push on through the piffle and painstakingly pick out the good stuff, file it away and call on it during a future conversation. Much like I do. Because yes, I have the love for you, my pretty.

No, I�m not looking to beat you at some imaginary game. I don�t keep score; I just choose to show my feelings for you through my actions. I don�t know if it�s unreasonable of me to expect you to reciprocate, I just do.

Am I not interesting? Do I not rate the kind of attention you shower on others? Do you pigeonhole me so much in your life that you cannot spare the brain cells required to remember that I hate onions on everything or that my birthday is in March?

And then? When I spend weeks or months working up the nerve to approach you with this simple question, when I�ve crafted exactly how I�m going to phrase it so I don�t then have a miscommunication problem on top of it all, then? You act like it�s just your genetic makeup and I should probably learn to deal with it, else I develop a nasty ass ulcer.

I can�t deal with it. I freely admit that I tend toward being anal retentive, but your actions tell me that I�m not important to you unless I�m standing right in front of you. Charm me all you want at that moment because I�ll fall for it, but some day I will not. I�m worth more than that.

Posted at 3:00 p.m.