I have to take a better grade of drugs; the ones I�m on now are obviously messing me up.

Last night I dreamed the people I love most in life were stapling my head. I woke up, not surprisingly, with a headache. If I had a therapist (and there are those who ardently believe it�ll happen sooner or later), they would have a field day with that dream.

Now I�m the world�s biggest baby when it comes to pain, except in the case of headaches. Some of my earliest memories are of migraines, so you�d think I would have gotten a handle on dealing with them in the 30-odd years they�ve plagued me. You would think that but you would be wrong my friend. I live by a little river we call Denial. I keep telling myself it will go away if I only stretch out my neck muscles, eat something, don�t concentrate on it, blahdey-blah. I think that approach worked once.

No, what happens is it gets worse and worse until you can see volcanic spurts just under my hairline and blood trickling down my cheeks, a la The Stigmata. My ability to tolerate light lessens until I�m face-down on my desk praying for death to come quickly. Even better, I take refuge in the washroom, preferring the cool walls of a stall and a chair that doubles as a receptacle for all the food I ate trying to cure the demon headache inside me.

Today I have been getting by on Tylenol 3s and a nap at home over my lunch hour. Tonight at 5:00, happily, I see Dr. George, my acupuncturist/shiatsu massage guru. I will plead for much massage on my neck today and he will quietly oblige. Over the years my treatment has progressed to the point where I see him once every two months for a �maintenance� appointment. This is more or less a dozen acupuncture needles hooked up to the current for the majority of my session. When I first began the needles drew blood; I was not amused. My treatment has been such a success, however, that some time ago I came to accept the brief painful interludes as paying my dues for long stretches of peace.

With any luck after my session I will be able to nip down the road to Take Sushi and load up on tempura and sushi for dinner. They don�t make Tempura Scallops but they have a lovely Korean tea to sip while you watch your sushi being made by a very talented man behind the glass. I always make it a point to bow on my way out; he�s so good at his job!

Tomorrow, I ponder who I can call long distance on the company dime for the last time (Hi, Stef!) and clean up on my way out.

Posted at 2:47 p.m.