Gathering thunderclouds
Dark thoughts cast a shadow over life as I know it these days. Even the events that would have made me smile for longer than five or ten mintues are now tinged with anger, petulence and paranoia.

My mix cds are the only thing keeping me from finding the nearest bridge or watchtower. Music has always been an integral part of my life, and the need for it only deepens as I age.

Interestingly enough, my 'acoustic/live/sappy tune' bent isn't pushing me further into a depressive episode. I sink gently into the soft, blurry tones, allowing small amounts of pain to escape the bonds of my perpetual denial. If I don't dwell on it, it won't hurt me, right?

That must suffice as the lame explanation for my recent silence. I can't truthfully predict if things will perk up in the near future or not; sadly, my Piscean intuition seems to be on the fritz as well. Dont get me wrong, I certainly do hope the silver lining on the little cartoon rainclouds that have been following me around will reveal themselves soon.

I'm uncomfortable in my own skin these days, and I'm damned if I know what to do about it. Add to that the fact that what I considered to be a fundamental truth in my life is absolutely not so, and you wiind up with a person whose already sporadic writing is only going to take a turn for the worse.

I fear I will simply have to sit still and wait for the deafening thunder and awesome lightning displays to pass over and head east.

So, this is me just sitting still....

Posted at 9:10 a.m.