You need me to get a little more specific? Okay. I've been busy convincing The Boy to show the folks at the local lab just what he's made of. I suspect that you, gentle reader, will not need for me to draw you a map on this one.

Basically, in October of 2000, we decided it was time to procreate. I went to the doctor, provided many samples, agreed to try to lose some weight, then proceeded directly to the local Chapters to read up on my impending Bump-dom. The sheer volume of the Pregnancy/Parenting section put me off a little, until I came to understand that every person in this great big ol' universe has an opinion on how to be pregnant and how to raise your child from the moment they hit the air. To make matters worse, some of the more militant ones are also convinced that you will, in fact, burn in hell if you don't follow their hefty tomes to the letter. Drink 15 litres of water each day! Rub essence of chickweed on your belly three times a day in the shadow of the nearest Catholic church! Eat only brussels sprouts for the length of your pregnancy! Pregnancy food yearnings are the work of the devil! Remain pure of thought and action for the length of your gestation or no amount of catch-up parenting will save your doomed offspring!

Gah.

I freely admit to being a bookworm, but the more I've read over the past 18+ months, the more I want to pack up and move to the mountains, never to be seen again.

"It's too much pressure on me and my uterus".

Add to the mixture the fact that I've been nauseous since Friday, and you have a lovely package of crazy, one that The Boy is hesitant to approach for fear of losing an appendage in the ensuing explosion. Oh, and a trip to Emerg on Sunday, due to his raging case of (huge!) hives, which I suspect were the result of him internalizing his anxiety about carrying out a perfectly normal male procedure into a perfectly abnormal plastic cup.

So, the score at the half reads: Calls from doctor: 0, Period: 6 (as in days before I can even test), Nerves: off the chart.

God help my family if and when I manage to actually conceive. I pity them.

~~~~~~~~~~

On a totally unrelated note, I found this through one of the many weblogs I've become familiar with. I highly recommend it, as it displays search results in a very fresh way indeed.

Posted at 12:56 p.m.