I've been so bad.

I actually had real people food for lunch today.

When I say that, I mean that since January 7, 2002, I have been doing some serious crunching down on raw vegetables, cheese and some form of protein for my lunch, five days a week. Oh, and my usual ginger ale went out the window in favour of water. So basically, I've been proud as a peacock about turning my eating habits around.

Okay, you don't have to tell me that you were sitting there reading my cockiness, thinking, "This girl is too big for her britches (literally); she must be taken down a peg!"

Well, think your devilish thoughts kids, it doesn't matter. My willpower already has about as much resolve as a square of cheap toilet paper. As you may or may not have already surmised, (based on how much you actually pay attention to the words on this page), I ordered out today.

Shaved turkey breast on a ciabatta bun with tomato and mozzarella. Fries on the side. Two packets of vinegar. The lovely, inviting odour wafted through my office, causing quite a stir. I barely noticed as I shovelled piping hot fries into my mouth, burning my tongue and not caring. I gobbled the sandwich, enjoying the feel of crushing something (anything!) other than cauliflower under my molars. About 2/3 of the way in, my stomach began to register the fact that heavy, fatty, salty masses were marching toward my large intestine where they would, one hour later, cause me no end of distress.

I now get to go to my accupuncturist appointment, where I will lay down on the table and be forced to look at my huge, bloated belly on display for this tiny man to see.

I will, however, cease to care about my belly if he can give me some relief from the muscle spasms I've been getting as a result of my massage from Giovanni on Wednesday.

Posted at 1:58 p.m.