�When did you lose your virginity?�

I remember it as if it were yesterday.

I was at the local fair in 1986, strolling along the aisles filled with booths selling everything from lazy-boys to water purifiers to prune juice. Lunch was on my mind, and I was just about ready to mention to my Mom that I could manage yet another corn dog with mustard when I saw him.

Keith was working at the booth of a company that was hawking auto club memberships. He was adorable, I couldn�t take my eyes off him. Mom noticed my infatuation and suggested lunch could wait, didn�t I need an auto club membership in case my arthritic old Jeep ever needed a tow?

Over we went. Blushing, I asked the current object of my affection for more information on what exactly I would get for my yearly fee. The noise of the crowd milling around us caused him to have to lean in and speak at my ear, blessing me with a whiff of his lovely cologne. I was sold before he finished his first sentence.

As I scrabbled for my credit card, attempting to find it without looking so I didn�t have to take my eyes off his angelic face, he casually mentioned a Fair Draw open to everyone who signed up during that particular week. Sure, sign me up! I could always find a use for 300 pounds of local cheese were I to win.

Then I remembered the hell I'd heard people went through when they filled out one of those random forms at a public event. He saw me reconsidering and flashed his beautiful smile that much brighter. �We don�t give your information out to anyone; it�s just for our company records. Come on, I�d really like to see you win the draw.� Damn, damn, damn.

I handed him the ballot, already damp with the perspiration from my sweaty palms. He quietly asked me if he could jot down my phone number off the ballot while Mom was off sizing up grandfather clocks. God, yes!

Three weeks later the junk mail procession commenced, I didn�t win the draw and we never spoke again. I haven�t been able to fully trust a salesman since and while that may be a good thing, I will always remember Keith as the guy who took my �Informed Consumer� virginity.

Oh, you meant the other virginity? Far less interesting. Did you hear that, Bill O�Shea?

Posted at 10:02 a.m.