I say that with enthusiasm, because how sad would it be if I couldn't get happily riled up about a year that hasn't managed to disappoint me yet?

Mind, that's not entirely true, although it has more to do with the people in my life than the actual year.
(I hope 2002 means me no harm).

I spent last night alone with The Boy and Bailey, our idiot-savant dog. Why was I not out at some fabulous party, imbibing wildly, blathering on in that cute little drunken manner I have about resolutions, predilictions and the recipe for the artichoke dip I've just fallen in love with?
Funny you should ask.

It would seem it's very difficult to relate to a childless couple. At least, that's what I was told a while ago by someone who shall remain nameless. God, was I hurt. You've gotta love her for being so brutally honest, though. At least she's not going the way of others who have simply drifted out of our life without even a 'see you, wouldn't want to be you'. Those are the ones who leave me wondering just what the hell I've done. It can't be The Boy, he's lovely: 99 times out of 100 I would bet it's me and my big mouth.

This year is going to be different. I'm not saying I'll end up being the Belle of the Ball; I'm just proclaiming Two-K-two as the Year of Not Caring. I will not let stress, imagined or otherwise, make a beeline for my stomach or cause me yet another migraine, damnit.

I've always wanted to be liked, always put on a show for others, as the stories of my early childhood can attest. I'm a supersocial being, and always have been. What I've never been able to suss out was why I came to be that way. And no, I can't afford therapy, although it would probably do me a world of good.

Jerry Seinfeld once had a bit about reaching your Friend Limit by the time you're thirty. So, when you meet a really nice person and they give you a call to get together, you have to find a nice way to tell them you're really sorry, but you don't have any openings at the present time. Well, I find myself at the other end of the spectrum, and I haven't the faintest bloody idea how to turn it around. My best bet is to wait until that fabulous new job comes calling, then glom onto my co-workers and hope everything gels.
Oh my, now that didn't sound too desperate...

My 'real' world is imploding. My computer use is increasing. The concentrated world of intelligent and witty people I know through my favorite bulletin board community is a blessing. These are people it would have taken me a lifetime to find; considering the fact they're scattered all over the globe, I would likely have never met most of them.
I'm a very grateful girl.

For the moment, I'm going to put aside my fears of being a rampant paranoid with severe agorophobia and social phobias. I guess I'll just put all my positive energy into being the best person I can be, and see what happens.
Very suspenseful, non?

Posted at 3:55 p.m.